Friday, May 30, 2008

Another Personality Test...I really like the results for this one

You Are Romanticism

You are likely to see the world as it should be, not as it is.

You prefer to celebrate the great things people do... not the horrors they're capable of.

For you, there is nothing more inspiring than a great hero.

You believe that great art reflects the artist's imagination and true ideals.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Thanks, everyone, for being so supportive and sweet. I have a lot of good friends, and a lot of you are in the same boat, and a lot of you manage to keep it all together, and work a lot harder than me.

I went to the funeral today. It was not as depressing as I thought it would be. It was hard, but it was also hopeful. Some family members who are not members of the church spoke. They were sweet. Then our relief society president Carol Day spoke. She was so sweet and inspired. Those of you who know Carol know how sweet and funny and sincere she is. She gave a very beautiful tribiute to Anna. There was a beautiful violin solo by Liz Darling. She is a very accomplished violinist. It was amazing. Then the bishop spoke. It was very overwhelming. He looked like he was almost on fire. It was pretty cool. I have never seen anything like it. He apologized at the beginning of the service for losing his voice while he was conducting because he was getting over a cold. But when he stood there at the end of the service and testified of Jesus Christ and the truthfulness of the Gospel, and How Anna was with her Savior and was being taught the gospel, and that if they wanted to be a family agian, they would have to pray to their Heavenly Father so they would know what to do to be together forever. His voice became louder and clearer as he spoke. He looked so strong and powerful, so uncomprmising, so full of truth and righteousness, It was like he had become a conductor for the holy ghost and a current was flowing through him with so much power that I saw him shaking and full of light. I watched Anna's mother, who is not a member, but has been surrounded by the gospel all of her life, I saw her put her head down and nod in agreement, but she had to look away. It was such an unbelievable sense of the spirit of Heavenly Father in that chapel. No one could deny it. I have just felt so close to Heavenly Father all day. I feel like the whole experience has changed me. And I hope I can be better from this point on. I'll try harder. I'll do better. That's what things like this are for.

It is still a horrible loss for their family, and I know that they are in for some rough times ahead. But I hope they can lean on the truth of the gospel to get through it. I'll pray for them.

The clip below is from a video I watched a year ago with Derek. This song touched me so much. I have been thinking about it over the last few days. I had tried to find it on You tube before, but it has never been there, until now, when I really needed to find it. It's from Veggie Tales, but whoever wrote this song, has a perfect knowledge of Jesus Christ, what the Atonement and Resurection meant, and what it means for us. It reminds me of the answers I have know all along. It's true.
(Pause My Playlist before you watch)

There is more to the Atonement than just "Believing", but that is the best place to start.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What's been on my mind lately...that I didn't know if I should post or not...

My next door neighbor killed herself on Thursday. She was 27 years old. I didn't know her well. Her family is private. It was very traumatic for the neighborhood...even though I felt a little detached. She was a very sweet girl, from what I knew about her. I know that she has struggled with diffrent things through out her life. But I thought she was doing well. I have tried not to think about it too much. I have a lot going on right now and have just been busy with things that needed to get done. And I like I said, I feel a little detached. On Friday, I taped a note on my neighbors door. Her mother and sister live there too. I just wrote that I didn't know what to say or do, but I was so sorry. They responded when I saw them and I gave them hugs, and cried a little. It is a very strange feeling I have about the whole thing. It's not really like me to be so unemotional. Maybe it's because I am trying not to think about it too much, maybe it's because I'm just not close to the family. It's wierd, and horrible all at the same time. The wierdest thing is how depressed I was before she killed herself. I blogged this horrible entry about how hopeless I felt and how much I hated myself the night before it happened. I was so very depressed. And then after she killed herself, that feeling was gone. I almost wish I hadn't deleted my post. It was like there was an evil spirit or something hovering around here, and then it was gone. Maybe if I had been closer to Heavenly Father I would have realized what it really was. Even though I don't know what it really was. But I think I feel relieved to have that feeling gone. It was a real thing. And Anna was the one who became consumed by it. I don't know. All I do know is that I need to do better. I need to be closer to Heavenly Father. I need to be a better person. I need to serve more, I need to be a more patient mom, I need to be more confident and healthy. More organized, more honest, more helpful, more loyal, stronger, braver, selfless. I know how to start. If I just read my scriptures and go to the temple, and pray, everything will fall into place. Why is it so hard for me to do such simple things? Because the world is full of loud and enticing things that I get caught up in. Not even anything bad or evil, but just loud, and unnecessary. I am feeling so insecure because of so many things. I am feeling bad about so many decisions I have made about such petty things. Like I cancelled pack meeting this Wednesday because I am helping at the funeral from 12-3, and Jeff is working all night until 10:00 pm, and won't be able to help me, and Clint has a rehersal at 6:30. And I think I upset a few people who already think I am disorganized. It is so hard to get along with people. I used to care if people liked me. But part of me is starting to care less and less. The other part of me still cares. Which is what I struggle with. I think I will probably upset a lot of people this next year with PTA. And people will judge me and point out everything that I do wrong, and every bad decision I make. Which is why I have to make sure my decisions are right. They will be right if I am closer to Heavenly Father. ANd I have to be brave and responsible for the decisions that are made. Kathryn has been a good example of being confident in her decisions. She has taken the responsibility for every decision made. Which is what I need to do. I have a tendency to place the blame on other people for any decision I make so that no one will be mad at me. I also need to just be better in a lot of ways. This past year I have also really felt more alone than I have in a long time. One reason is because Jeff has been working a lot of extra hours, and lots of times I almost feel like a single parent. It is all me from first thing in the morning until after bedtime. And because I see that a lot of people I know who have little kids have a good family network of help. I really don't have anyone. I am there for a lot of other families, but no one is really there for me. Which is okay, because I have Jeff, and he is all I need, but I could be more productive if we had parents, or family members around. And I am really struggling with Derek, and Clint right now. Derek is just exhausted all the time, and refuses to take naps. And I think he is teething because he always has his entire hand in his mouth. Clint is a very good boy, but Derek takes up most of my patience. THere really is not much left for Clint. And his friends have become more important, and some are not really his friends. And then I am so disturbed about some of these kids parents. Like when one kid shot a nest full of baby birds with his air soft gun, and his mom laughed about it with a friend of mine. If Clint had done this, that gun would be mine. How can parents be such idiots?
My next thought is wondering if I really have any friends who are going to stand by me next year.
I have Jeff. My sisters live so far away. I feel so guilty for all of the things that I have said and done. Gossip. backstabbing. Being weak. How do I go about repairing all of those things? Maybe forgive others who have done it to me? And just stop venting and complaining to others about people who upset me. Start constructing a new person for the new age I am entering into. My real and honest desire is just to be a good person, and a good friend. To make the world a better place. To help others. But how can I make the world better when there are so many idiots trying to destroy it? And how do I get Derek to take a nap.

So there, I start with my neighbors suicide, and then end up all about me agian. My mind is jumping all over the place. I'm not sure why I feel the need to throw all of these thoughts out there. But I do feel the need. And I love this new song from "the call" from "Prince Caspian". It seems very relevant to me today.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Derek's "DEE"

When Derek was just starting to learn to talk, he started all of his words with a "D" sound. "yeah" was "da", "this" was "dis", and for some reason, his blankee became "DEE".

He still loves his Dee. It is hard to get it away from him to wash it...and now it is so badly worn that I have to hand wash it in the sink with Woolite.
He loves to play with the crochet edges. Even though most of the edges are gone. I have sewn it back together a few times. It's funny how certian objects can mean so much. That DEE really does hold a lot of love from Derek. He walks around with it and says "Aw, DEE, I love my DEE". It makes him feel better whenever he is sad or afraid. Gives him comfort whenever he needs it. It is priceless. It is soft and relaxing, and there are lots of ways to hold it, and wrap it around. My job is to keep it intact for as long as I can.

Clint used to have a cute little bunny that he loved, that he had from the time he was a baby...It got left behind in California. It was terrible. Clint has recovered. Hopefully we can hold on to the DEE for a lot longer. Until it becomes vapor, or until all of the patches make a new blanket.

Father, Son, Thing...

Campout in the back yard...

Are you allowed to have fires in the neighborhood?

Guess who had to take the tent down, and clean up the mess? Did you

Friday, May 23, 2008

Simple Science

When Clint was little, we used to spend hours doing art and science projects. Derek has always been more physical and prefers to kick soccer balls and make basketball shots. But since this spring has been so horrible and rainy, we have been forced to do more indoor activities...I think some of this science stuff is starting to rub off on him...

This is our "Rainbow in a Bowl" experiment. It is good for hours of entertainment! It is really cool. I love to play with it too. You fill a pie plate half full of whole milk (2% works too, but not as well...the more fat the better, skim hardly works at all). Then put a few drops of food coloring in. Then dip a toothpick into some dish soap, and touch one of the drops of food coloring that is in the milk. The colors start swirling and stiring around like crazy. It's very cool to watch. There is some kind of a scientific explanation for why all of the colors move around...but I never paid much attention to why.
This is our "color mixing "experiment. We colored applesauce the 3 primary colors and then made the secondary colors by mixing them together. He has learned secondary colors from Blue's Clues...
But his colors usually end up brown...

Derek has also recently graduated to jigsaw puzzles.

I love doing puzzles with him. It's one of the few ways I can really get him to talk to me about things. Power Rangers, friends, how cute the animals and insects are in the puzzle that we are doing. How much he loves ladybugs, butterflies, caterpillars, and sharks. He is so cute and fun.
I can handle the art and science, but I still really don't enjoy playing Power Rangers!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Derek's Best Friend, she's a girl...she's still fun!

Allison is Derek's best friend. They play almost every day. She is always willing to be the pink power ranger, and she is pretty tough.

We love that she lives right across the street. The Day's front yard is their Power Ranger Hideout. We are so grateful to have good, sweet neighbors who have accepted Derek's open yard policy.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Trip to This is the Place Park

Clint's performance group did a show at this is the place park, we got free admission, so we hung out afterwards and looked around. It was so fun! I can't believe we had never gone before! We will definately take another trip up there soon!

The lighting was pretty bad. The performance was under a pavilion with the sun shining in right behind them. But they sounded pretty good.

Derek spent the entire time during the performance rolling around in the grass and pulling grass up and making nests and putting them on his head.

After the singing, Clint changed his clothes and we looked around at some of the monuments.

There was a plaque that had names of all of the original pioneers that first came into the Salt Lake Valley.

Derek and Clint's Great Great Grandfather is listed there. THOMAS BINGHAM
It was cool to learn a little about Utah Pioneer History.
Then we went off the look at all of the historic buildings and meet some pioneer girls!
At one of the houses, it was set up just for kids. They could handle all of the artifacts, and play some pioneer games like this is called "Grace".
You throw a ring using two sticks to your partner, who catches the ring with another two sticks. The pioneer girls used to play this game to become more "graceful".
Derek and Clint had fun trying to figure it out. It's harder than it looks.
Jeff found a pair of stilts. He is so cool. He did a good job on the stilts. Maybe he had a pair at home that he used to practice on when he was a kid.
Derek didn't like the stilts too much.
Clint did pretty good.
Derek's favorite thing at the park was the laundry. He kept coming back to wash more clothes....I think all little kids love to play in water. I wonder if pioneer children liked to help with the laundry...and if they did...I wonder if they ever actually got any of it clean...
Because if Derek did our laundry....It would definately be wet... Clint gave it a try too, he didn't enjoy it quite as much.
Derek got some tips from the girls. They let him wash as long as he wanted. And he washed a pretty long time...He would have liked to have stayed longer....
But we had some other things to see.
We took a train ride around the entire park and got to see lots of restored homes and original buildings. Then we stopped at the wooden playground before it was time to go. They had lots of little play houses and a wooden train. We had such a good time. There is a lot more that I would have liked to see. We will definately go again soon.

To those of you asking about performances, sorry I didn't get dates and times out to anyone. It all just happened so fast, and with PTA stuff I am just feeling so unorganized. I have got to take some time after school is out and really regroup. I have got to be more organized before next year. If you are interested in seeing Clint, his final show is next Friday, at 7:00 at Juan Diego High School. Let me know if you need some details. Other than that, I will try to do better next year. He also has a guital recital on the 2nd of June at Sandy Library. He would love to see anyone come to either one of those performances. I will try to post some video soon so you can see it if you can't make it.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Coolest Thing Ever...For book lovers...

So you type in your favorite books, and they give you a list of new books that you should like based on your past reads...Very Cool!

I Typed in some of my favorite books:

Dealing with Dragons-Patricia C. Wrede

Uglies-Scott Westerfeld

Princess Academy - Shannon Hale

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - JK Rowling

Then I got this HTML listing:

The website suggests items you might like reading based on real readers' recommendations.
were the results:

- CS. Lewis

Wicked Lovely
- Melissa Marr

Prince Caspian (Check)
- CS Lewis; Pauline Baynes
Talking to Dragons (Check...loved this one)
- C. Wrede Patricia
Among the Imposters (Love this series...haven't read this one yet)
- Margaret Haddix
- Cynthia Leitich Smith
High Wizardry
- Diane Duane
Alt Ed
- Catherine Atkins

Charlotte's Web (Check)
- EB White; Garth Williams

I have already read some of these, but there are some new ones that I am looking forward to trying out! You should give it a try!

Another really interesting one for literature is Enter the name of your favorite Author and you'll get a display of writers' names, with your pick at the center. The idea: The closer a name sits to your favorite author, the greater likelyhood that you'll enjoy that authors work.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Mother's Day Cards

All of my boys got me very sweet cards for Mother's Day...But this one was my favorite:

(Front of Card)

(Inside of Card)
Translation of "Ranks ror rhe rurgury" if you don't speak "dog"..."Thanks for the surgery"...Thanks Scooby Do, Rex and Jeff.
(Jeff, You are so funny...thanks for keeping me laughing all of these years!)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

10 reasons why I love my Mom

My Mom: Josephine Gayle McClaine Rawlins (High School Senior Picture)

1. She taught me what real beauty was all about.

2. She laughs easily and often, and finds humor in even difficult situations.

3. She has taught all of her daughters how to be a good and loyal wife, and how to be sweet, loving, and supportive to our husbands no matter what.

4. She taught us to have a love for music.

5. She has taught us to "save our kisses for our sweetheart".

6. She can be a real bad-a_ _, especially if some big tough kids steal her son's bike.

7. She taught us to have hope for the future.

8. She has sacrificed for all of her children, more than we could ever know, and she still does.

9. She is smart. She knows more about grammar than anyone I know, and she has shared with her children a love of reading, books, and language.

10. She taught us the gospel and has always been a perfect example of having faith and believing in miracles. She Taught us how to pray, and read the scriptures, and to turn to Heavenly Father for help. To be active in the church and always be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Taught us by example that Heavenly Father will help us if we help ourselves...that there is always a way.

We are who we are because of you Mom. Thank you for all the years of being there for us. Being an example, and a listening ear, giving advice, praying in our behalf. We couldn't have done it without you...and everything we have become is because of you and Dad. We are so lucky to have you for our parents.

Happy Mothers Day Mom! I love You!!!

Thursday, May 8, 2008


I am starting to feel overwhelmed with the end of the school year approaching and all of the things I need to do. I really wished I would not have taken on the role of PTA president until after Derek was older. This is my schedule for today, and it is typical from now until the end of the school year. I know everyone is busy. But this should maybe put an end of the idea that some people have of my having " too much time on your hands":

  • Work out---Derek only let me do 1/2 hour of my video...typical...I need to get up at 6 a.m.
  • Walk Rex --twice--2 times each around the block for leg rehab
  • Drop off teacher birthday gifts
  • Deliver jog-a-thon fliers to local businesses for sponsors
  • Play board games with Derek
  • Take Derek to the Park
  • Get Groceries ( used to enjoy dread it with a 3-yr. old.
  • (Derek used to be so easy to take everywhere...I used to take him to the gym every day...he used to be great in the shopping cart at the store...Everything changed at about 2&1/2.) Still love being a mom...but the baby stage was much easier to actually get things done. Maybe the problem is that when he was a baby I wasn't PTA President Elect...Next year is only going to be worse. I wish I would have waited...I forgot why I said I would do it.)
  • Call Members of PTA Board for next year
  • Find a babysitter for PTA State Convention for next Friday
  • Clint's Dress Rehearsal for Singing Program 5 p.m.
  • Help Clint finish State Report Due tomorrow
  • School Carnival 5-8 p.m. (I need to stop by and make an appearance sometime during the night.)
  • Friends Lia Sophia party 6:30 p.m.
  • Stake Primary Meeting 7:00 p.m.
  • Put Laundry Away
  • Clean Kitchen
  • Send Mother's Day Gifts (sorry mom, it's probably going to be late).
  • Clean TV room
  • Pay Bills

These are all things that absolutely have to be done today. So why am I wasting time on my blog? I am waiting for the caffeine from my diet coke to kick in that I recently gave up...and started again this week...And oh yeah, I quit Target. I already have a full time bad I don't get paid.

Sunday, May 4, 2008


I love spring. It is definitely my favorite season. I love it because winter is ending...days start to get longer, and school will be over soon. It starts to get warmer...everything begins to come alive. It is just such a hopeful time. The promise of summer, and vacations, and new MOVIES. I love movies. They are such an escape for me. It is like taking a vacation. And all you have to do is sit and be entertained. I love a good movie more than anything else! And there are some good ones coming this year. I just saw Iron Man yesterday. I absolutely loved it. I loved Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man. Thought he was perfect for the part. Loved Iron Man as a hero. Loved the story, the special effects, and how I felt afterwards. It made me happy, and hopeful, and a little frustrated that it had to end.

It is harder for me to get to movies right now. Babysitters are more of a challenge these days. And I really just love to go with Jeff. We really do have the same taste in of the few things we have in common. Although there are a few really stupid ones that Jeff likes that I absolutely hate...(Like the 5th Element...I hate that movie...stupidest movie ever made...Jeff loves it for some must appeal to his juvenile stupid!) But most other movies we agree on. And he understands. He understands why I cried in Meet the Robinsons and Enchanted...not everyone does. It's nice that he understands and I don't have to explain my reasons to him. But I loved Iron Man...and I am so excited to take my little mini-vacation several other times this spring and summer! Movies are all I need!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Rex Update

Rex is so patient with Derek. And I just noticed in this picture that Rex's head is almost as big as Derek's upper body!

This is the Salt Lake Tribune is the only way I am able to save it...just in a word document with no pictures. If you want to see the entire article, Just do a search for "Rex" at the Salt Lake Tribune home page at, or cut and paste from the link below. I guess I'll have to keep doing real scrapbook pages still. I took newspapers up to the school yesterday for all of the kids that were mentioned in the article. I am still going to try to scan the article later and see how that looks.

Puppy love: Sandy rallying for Rex
By Steve Koecher
Close-Up Correspondent
Salt Lake Tribune
Article Last Updated:
Here is the link at the Salt Lake Tribune on line:

"A special
dog and a special owner have touched their community. Clint Bingham had a dog, Rex, since he was 2. He has grown to love his dog more than anything. The Golden Retriever was a community favorite in his Sandy neighborhood. "It's hard not to smile when you see Rex," said Corbin Robinett, a friend of Clint. Rex loved to play in the water, the snow, go on walks and chase down tennis balls. When running in a dog park Rex tore a ligament in his knee; giving him extreme pain trying to walk. The vet said it would cost $2,200 to operate on Rex. At the same time, the car and the furnace broke and the family had a tough decision to make. They decided they couldn't afford the operation. Clint was heartbroken. He told his grandparents about it on the phone, and they promised to help a bit. Gaining courage, he went into action. He told his classmates his troubles. They got together and decided to run a lemonade stand for Rex. On March 21, Corbin Robinett, Bailey Robinett, Matthew Earl and Clint had the day off from school and used it to full advantage. With a donated lemonade stand, they sold lemonade from morning to evening. Luckily they live near the end of the street where traffic on Sego Lily Drive backs up as the TRAX train passes. The "Help Rex" campaign made more than $182 that day selling Crystal Light and yellow lemonade.

The following Monday they earned another $36.10. Rex wasn't going to sit this one out. He stood by the lemonade stand using his animal charm to attract customers. Often lemonade-purchasers would stop to pet him. The children became really excited when one gentleman donated $20 and later returned to donate $20 more. Other classmates got in the act too. Sammy Rivera, Kelsey Mower and Gwen Jeffries decided they would make cookies. They made $50 selling chocolate and double chocolate cookies in Sammy's front yard. Rachel Bingham, Clint's mom, felt compelled to help as well. Clint went to houses in his LDS Ward taking orders for five types of pies: apple, chocolate cream, lemon meringue and bread pudding. He got 32 orders for pies on the Tuesday before Easter. Rachel spent all Saturday with the help of her sister, Kim, making the pies. Saturday night, Clint delivered the pies. They made more than $900 from donations for pies. Other family members made donations. Cottonwood Animal Hospital set up a donation fund in which Clint's aunts and uncles, cousin and grandparents made donations. The fund even received some anonymous donations. Last but not least, Clint agreed to forgo his allowance for a whole year. With the help of so many individuals, Rex was able to have his surgery and is expected to be his old self in no time. Clint and his friends have learned the value and support of a good community when in need. In addition, with each other's help, they can accomplish big things. "Get out and help your neighbors. You'll want someone to help you when you're going through a tough time," Corbin said. "There are a lot of more important things than saving a dog," said Rachel Bingham. "But for these kids, it's all about learning to serve."

Friday, May 2, 2008

Rex's Newspaper Article...

Clint's story about Rex is in the Salt Lake Tribune today...I am a little frustrated that they left Amber's name out of the story. She made pies too and was the one who showed me how to wrap them up really cute with cellophane. I know she probably doesn't care, but I do. They also wrote Kim as my sister instead of my sister-in-law. But other than is a nice article, and Clint is excited about it. I'm sure all of other kids will be excited too. I have to try to figure out how to get the article on the blog. So far all I can get is the words to come on. Maybe I will try to scan the actual article later.

Right now Derek needs me to play Hot Wheels Shake 'um Up.