Saturday, October 10, 2009

It's been awhile...

It has. Been a long time. I have been kind of in a weird state of mind lately. For lots of reasons. I even wrote a post about it...but will probably never publish it. Some things are better left private.

But I have not been feeling like myself. With my new work schedule, and Clint's descent into adolescence...the end of summer, and Derek starting preschool twice a week...I have felt a longing for more time. And I have felt alone. I love being a mom, and I really am not interested in doing anything else. I don't have daughters...and eventually, my boys will leave, and...

All I have is now. This very moment. I have felt sad that so many of Clint's friends that he had when he was little have drifted away. I love those boys and loved having them around. I felt so happy to have them in my kitchen while we made cookies and I always had the doors open so I could hear them laugh and play and fight outside. I kept all the band-aids for the neighborhood on the lowest bathroom shelf, and plastic cups in the bottom drawer in the kitchen. A freezer full of otter pops, and a drawer full of construction paper and glue. Clint and those little boys who used to play here need me less and less every day. And I have missed the constant laughter and energy that little boys bring to the world...

But I am so thankful that I get to do it all again at least one more time...And Clint still hangs around most of the time...reluctantly on the outside...but on the inside...he still knows he's home.

So I snapped myself out of whatever funk I was in just in time for Friday, a very good day....

Derek and Kooy wanted to make Halloween Gingerbread houses...and it turned into a party.So lucky to have lots of friends on our street. I have a small kitchen, so we had 2 work stations, and 2 shifts of kids at each one. Derek and Kooy did all the shopping, and they did a good job of selecting decorations.Then the decorating ended, and as I was organizing the finished products, I thought I would take a look around the house to see what everyone was doing...A few were building the hot wheels track on the front steps.... And I had to stop the wrestling match in the TV Room..Quite a few in the tree house....
Loved the Jedi Tether ball...the first time I 've seen that...
Jedi's were also in the house...
And then it was time for everyone's mom to start calling them home...

I am definitely planning on having more days, like this.

9 comments:

Kimberlinah! said...

I love this post. I don't have anything cool to say, but I am glad you are feeling better. Cute pictures!

Lisa said...

I'm so happy to be your neighbor. I am mentally unstable and couldn't handle all the chaos of all the kids! :) I admire you so much! Thanks for helping give my Kooy boy such a great childhood!

Greg & Andrea said...

It is so great that you don't have to be at work and that you can spend this quality time with your boys. And it is great that they have so many neighbor hood kids to play with. I actually thought of you the other day. Twice now that we are in our new home I have had some neighbor kids come and play with Eva at our house. I thought to myself how fun it would be if I could have a house like yours with lots of laughter, fun and imagination.

Tom & Michelle said...

I think of you often and remember the good times that we had with you growing up. All the Imagination and laughter and the dreams that you set for us. We could do anything with you and that is why I think you are a Amazing mother and Aunt. Your boys and all the neighborhood kids will remember these magical moments that you created for them and cherish those wonderful times. Dont feel down, I'll just say it again... I love you and you really are supermom.

Ginni said...

I really just don't understand you sometimes Rachel. You are an amazing Mom to your boys and the neighborhood! I see all the fun pictures you post and think your house must be seen as the coolest house in the neighborhood, you do so much for all those kids! You really are an amazing person yet you can't see that for yourself. Maybe you need more positive affirmations before you will start to believe that.

I love you, thanks for being you!

Laura said...

Awe, Rachel! I'm glad youre feeling better and am so glad we got to go out for a bit the other night. Your project looked so cute and of course the kids had the best time! You are such an awesome mom coming up with things like that! Too bad we can't keep the kids little forever huh?!

Miranda said...

L had such a good time...thanks for always being his "2nd Mom". He's loves your dearly.

Rachel B said...

All these nice comments make me feel guilty.

Chelsea Stebar said...

That picture of Derek peeking over the edge of the table is PRICELESS. I love you, Aunt Rachel, and I'm glad you're feeling better. :)