Dallin H. Oaks

Why Religion Matters

There are many reasons. And while I listen to several of my friends and acquaintances discuss how Religion is a great evil...how it is full of hypocrisy and fairytales, I bite my tongue. Not because I am afraid. Not because I am ashamed. But because it is pointless to try to convince someone who has already made up their mind. More than anything...I feel sad. To know that the peace that the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings to my life will never be known by some. To understand the deep joy I feel at certain times that I can never put a price on. When I just look at someone, and know that they feel the same. It happens in my family with my sisters all the time. With my nieces, and close friends, with my husband. No words can describe it, and none are necessary.

A few weeks ago, I watched in wonder as an entire religious community made a miracle happen in less than 2 days for a good friend. I have participated in major humanitarian efforts that could never be possible with one person alone. They took place under a banner of Religion. I belong to the largest organization of women in the world...and we constantly do things to make the world a better place. In our own communities as well as in third world countries, and in far away cities where catastrophes have taken place. So what is really so horrible about religion? None of us are perfect. We don't claim to be. But we believe in the ideal, and sincerely strive to reach it. A little better every day. And while we stumble and fall, we try to apologize and recover, and persevere.

I was reminded of this ideal Sunday. Clint turned 12 a couple of weeks ago, and has been able to take part in passing the Sacrament as part of his duties as a deacon. I am very proud of him and his sweet personality and his desire to be a good boy. After the prayer was said and the boys started out with their trays of bread to different parts of the chapel, Jeff whispered to me that "it looks like someone forgot to go up front..." (the bishop is suppose to receive the bread first). The boys were all looking around, when Skylar, one of the amazing older boys, who I love, hurried over to Clint to remind him he was number one, and needed to deliver it to the bishopric. Clint was mortified. He was so embarrassed. Head down, he walked up to the stand while the entire chapel watched and waited until he gave it to the bishop. Then when he was finished, he got in line, and one of the younger boys whispered harshly to Clint to go to the back of the line. I saw him try hard to try not to cry....

Then Jeff elbowed me and pointed to President Williams...our former Stake President. Clint was standing by him, where Pres. Williams was seated. Clint had his head down, but the look of love and sympathy on Pres. Williams face for Clint...how if he wasn't passing the sacrament, he probably would of given him a warm pat on the back and a kind word to say that it was okay...then I looked around the room...and almost every face was exactly the same. Everyone in the entire chapel looking at my little Clint with nothing but concern, and love.

Clint had to go back and finish with the water. He was trying so hard just to keep it together and not cry. He finished. Came back to where we were sitting, and started to cry. Then brother Bowen got up, 1st counselor. And reminded everyone how grateful we are for the boys who pass the sacrament. Stressed how all of us make mistakes, and spoke with love directly to Clint. The 2 speakers that followed also talked about how appreciative they were to the boys who took on the responsibility of the sacrament every Sunday, and of course, the last speaker had his own very cute story about dropping the bread tray when he was a kid.

Love. Pure and simple. Real and True.

It's been awhile...

It has. Been a long time. I have been kind of in a weird state of mind lately. For lots of reasons. I even wrote a post about it...but will probably never publish it. Some things are better left private.

But I have not been feeling like myself. With my new work schedule, and Clint's descent into adolescence...the end of summer, and Derek starting preschool twice a week...I have felt a longing for more time. And I have felt alone. I love being a mom, and I really am not interested in doing anything else. I don't have daughters...and eventually, my boys will leave, and...

All I have is now. This very moment. I have felt sad that so many of Clint's friends that he had when he was little have drifted away. I love those boys and loved having them around. I felt so happy to have them in my kitchen while we made cookies and I always had the doors open so I could hear them laugh and play and fight outside. I kept all the band-aids for the neighborhood on the lowest bathroom shelf, and plastic cups in the bottom drawer in the kitchen. A freezer full of otter pops, and a drawer full of construction paper and glue. Clint and those little boys who used to play here need me less and less every day. And I have missed the constant laughter and energy that little boys bring to the world...

But I am so thankful that I get to do it all again at least one more time...And Clint still hangs around most of the time...reluctantly on the outside...but on the inside...he still knows he's home.

So I snapped myself out of whatever funk I was in just in time for Friday, a very good day....

Derek and Kooy wanted to make Halloween Gingerbread houses...and it turned into a party.So lucky to have lots of friends on our street. I have a small kitchen, so we had 2 work stations, and 2 shifts of kids at each one. Derek and Kooy did all the shopping, and they did a good job of selecting decorations.Then the decorating ended, and as I was organizing the finished products, I thought I would take a look around the house to see what everyone was doing...A few were building the hot wheels track on the front steps.... And I had to stop the wrestling match in the TV Room..Quite a few in the tree house....

Loved the Jedi Tether ball...the first time I 've seen that...
Jedi's were also in the house...

And then it was time for everyone's mom to start calling them home...

I am definitely planning on having more days, like this.

PTA--Take 3

I am stuck doing the PTA fundraiser again for Jr. High. I have no idea how it happened. I was somehow completely blindsided...or maybe I am just incredibly lame. I have always known I have had a problem saying NO and caring too much about how my actions affect others. Compassion ALWAYS gets me in trouble. I am STRESSED, FRUSTRATED, and ANNOYED that it is even more difficult to get people to help in JR. HIGH than in ELEMENTARY. And I think I am probably the biggest sucker in the world.

Moms and Babies

I heard there were baby tigers at the zoo. I took Derek and I was so excited to see them. I remember going to the Detroit Zoo when I was little. I remember when the baby tigers were there. I remember being able to see them. They were climbing all over their mom, and chewing on her ears and swatting at her tail...And I remember being worried

when she suddenly jumped up and freaked out when a group of noisy and stupid boys came along. She began pacing back and forth, growling...looking like she was perfectly capable of not only jumping the moat that surrounded her enclosure, but the fence as well. Fearless and ready to do whatever was necessary to protect her babies. Staring down those boys who very respectfully and sheepishly backed away. Don't mess with a mother tiger. And don't mess with her cubs. Zoos have changed since I was a little girl. I believe for the better. Animals are more protected, and understood. So I am sorry to say that we did not get a good look at the tiger cubs, or the mother. She has the privacy and the security that she needs and deserves for her babies. The Hogle Zoo has really improved over the years. And I enjoy it much more than I used to. I don't feel as sorry for the animals. The Highland Cats area is especially Jungle-like. The animals have a large and beautiful area to live in...with hiding places, water ponds, trees, grass, caves and privacy when they want it. So the tigers, and the snow leopard can be the mothers they need to be without having to worry so much about their cubs. And they are good mothers.

By a very interesting contrast, we ended up going to the zoo playground before we left. And I observed a very interesting dynamic that I have witnessed before from a very complicated species. The human mother. While it would appear that someone who would take their child to the zoo in the first place would seem to be a good parent, I saw a few things that would suggest the opposite. Mothers who are morons. A group of moms were talking while the kids were playing. Good for everyone, right? So a little girl runs over, excited to see a few groundhogs poking up from the groundhog exhibit that is next to the playground. She is so excited..."Mom! Mom! Look! It's a little groundhog! Mom! Mom! Look at the groundhog Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Look! Mom, do you see it mom?!!! Mom! Mom!"....Sad...but the mom didn't stop talking to her friends for even a minute to see what her daughter was excited about. The girl tried a few more times to get her mom's attention. Then finally gave up. She walked away and I felt horrible for her! I just can't believe it! This is your little kid excited about a groundhog! When kids are little, everything is wonderful and exciting and magical, and then, overnight, its not. It made me mad. And it makes me mad that there are so many really amazing moms in the world who can't get pregnant or who have life threatening illnesses, and the idiots are the ones raising the future! The human race is doomed. At least the Tigers have got it right. Their babies are the very most important things in the world. They are not distracted by stupid things. Nothing comes before the care and protection of their offspring. We can learn a lot from the tigers.

The Giving One...(And I don't mean me)

The first miracle happened when I went to get Pizza for the kids that were at my house that day. Ellen had a rough chemo week, and I was going to get cheap 5$ pepperoni pizzas for the kids. Her little boy Spencer, who is like 7, asked me if we could get Hawaiian. I told him that we were just going to have pepperoni because it is only $5. He felt bad, but I figured he would get over it and be fine. It's just pizza. But he was worried about his mom, and all the way to the pizza place I was thinking, I just should have ordered the Hawaiian...his mom has cancer! But now I didn't have 20 min. to wait while they threw a Hawaiian together for me....So I got to the Pizza place and asked for the pizza, then the guy behind the counter yells at me "Hey, I have this extra Hawaiian...do you want it?" I started crying in the pizza place. I came home and of course Spencer was thrilled.

Miracle number 2 I heard about while collecting funds for Ellen's stove that died. Ellen never complained, or asked anyone for it. But we all decided to replace it for her. A sweet lady I know came over and told me that a few years ago, she let a family she knew stay at her home for a few weeks. After the family left, she went up to clean the house a little, and found an envelope on the table with $100 in it. She was furious and called the family chastising them for leaving money. The family insisted. So this sweet lady, slightly annoyed, dropped the $100 bill in her jewelery box, and it has been there for years...and then she pulled it out and handed it to me for Ellen.

Miracle number 3 is the obvious one that so many people helped to create. A little plea for a new stove on facebook, that I figured would result in maybe $500 came in at 4 times that much. Long time friends who helped me feel like it was okay to ask for help in this way, large donations coming from people who made me swear I would never reveal the amount they were donating, and sweet friends telling me this meant far more to them than any pedicure or an evening out. Friends, giving what they can, others offering service with the placement of appliances. Strangers asking how they can help, dear friends from South and Central America asking if they needed to send dollars, or if pesos were okay. Prayers and good wishes being sent from all over the world for Ellen. And a lot of them are getting through. Resulting in not only a new stove, but a new washer and dryer, which were also needed, a wii game and battery pack, and quite a bit left over for school shopping and whatever else they need. Ellen still does not know who is responsible for this. All she knows is that a lot of people care. Miracle number 4 is more of a revelation than a miracle. How one of the most evil and sadistic forces in the world, cancer, can be overcome on many levels. First, because of the amazing Doctors and Scientists who have done so much to combat this sinister disease and can save and help so many. They continue to fight it and study it and defeat it. And when they can't, and it moves through the world on it's course of utter destruction of the human body and tries to chip away at our spirits, and destroy all of our hope, THERE WILL COME a ray of light, in some manner, whether through Angels, or Doctors, or men, and no one can deny the force of good that will manifest itself, somehow, some way, so that we can go on. If we can just maintain the tiniest amount of faith, we will know that the universe is unfolding as it should. And while we are powerless against some of the things that happen to us in this life, how we deal with those things is completely up to us. I know there is a God and that he lives and he is good. I may not understand everything that happens in this life. And there are things that make me just plain mad. But I have witnessed to many miracles throughout my life to ever deny his existence, or his love for us.

Awhile ago, Ellen mentioned that she doesn't like being on the receiving end. And that is true. She is a mom who loves her kids and has taught them so much. She loves being involved in their lives and she does so much to help others. She is a good friend. A wonderful wife and an amazing mother. What she doesn't realize is that what she has given us, to see her courage, to feel her spirit, and to recognize that she has brought out the good in so many of us...She is on the giving end...and what she has given all of us...is worth far more than a few appliances. She has given us hope, charity, love, joy...in the face of pure evil. She is the one doing the giving. And we are ALL indebted to her.

(I hesitate to post this, because THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY ABOUT ME. This is just for Ellen. I am not responsible for these miracles. I don't want any feedback for me. Please comment just about Ellen on this post. I decided to write about it because I have seen these miracles, and everyone needs to know about them. Again, this is not about me.)

Ellen

My friend Ellen just went through a very difficult round of chemotherapy and surgery to have her bladder removed for bladder cancer. She got her post op results today...not good. It's funny how nothing really seems very important any more. She has 4 small children. I am praying for a miracle for her. Miracles do happen...