*I* think he's funny

I want to try to do better and keep track of the funny things my kids say. Because they are both pretty funny!

While driving up the canyon last Sunday on the way to Quarry Bend:
Derek: Mom I lost my homework folder
Me: No you didn't, its on the kitchen floor.
Derek: No it's not. I lost it.
Me: I know where it is, Derek.
Derek: Well, if it's lost you will just have to buy me some new homework
(Everyone in the car laughs)

Jeff: Mom loves Derek the most, and everyone else in the family is 40%
Clint: (High-fives Jeff) "Hey 20%"

Derek: (While playing Zombieville on Jeff's phone)Can I buy Doodle jump?
Jeff: NO
Derek: So you don't love your son?
Jeff: (nothing)
Derek: Okay, I'm telling mom